Moving Back to the U.S. After 11 Years Abroad: Divorce, Reverse Culture Shock & Starting Over

I moved back to the United States after living in Bogotá, Colombia for almost eleven years.

That sentence still feels strange to type.

When people hear that, they usually assume the hardest part must have been my divorce. And yes, that was significant. But by the time I packed my bags and boarded the plane, I had peace about it.

It wasn’t dramatic at all (if you ask me). There wasn’t anger or resentment. But it was settled. I respected his decision, and I felt clarity about mine. And we remained respectful towards one another.

By the time I was leaving Colombia, I had much more to grieve than just my marriage.

The divorce was one loss.
Leaving Colombia was many.

I wasn’t just closing a relationship chapter, I was closing eleven years of my life.

My church.
My community.
My gym.
My routines.
My independence.
My home.

The air and weather that allowed me keep my windows open EVERY DAY.
The place where my dogs were from and had known their whole lives.

When you live somewhere for over a decade, it shapes you. It becomes part of who you are. So packing everything into boxes and suitcases wasn’t just logistical, it was SUPER emotional.

And that’s where reverse culture shock comes in.

Reverse Culture Shock Is Real, Even When It’s “Home”

People assume moving back to your own country should feel simple. But living abroad changes you. Big life experiences change you. Marriage changes you. Divorce changes you. Growth changes you.

You don’t just revert back to who you were before (I actually don’t know if you do at all).

I came back to the USA different because I AM different.

In Bogotá, I walked everywhere. My windows were opened EVERY day because the weather is just like that. I like to call it permanent sweater weather, haha! I had deep community at church, the place where I found Jesus again. I had a gym that felt like family. My dogs had an outdoor space where they could go in and out whenever they wanted.

Then suddenly, I was back in the U.S.

Driving everywhere.
Adjusting to different weather (although this time of year was a good choice since I can ease into a Florida summer).
Living in my parents’ home after having my own space.
Rebuilding routines.
Being the new person at church again ( I was anxious about this from experiencing church hurt in the past).
Diving into a new gym community (although it is where I started CrossFit many years ago - so it’s nice to have some familiarity).
Answering the “so what happened?” questions (whish is also fine- I am allll for sharing my story and how God is using it in my life).

It’s not regret. It’s transition.

And starting over in your late 30s feels different than starting over in your 20s. You’ve built something before. You’ve lived more life. So rebuilding doesn’t feel AS adventurous, it feels vulnerable.

At the same time, there’s a sense of REAL gratitude here.

I love being close to family.
I love that I can go to the beach for a few hours.
I love that I can run or walk at night and feel safe.
I love the gym community that’s slowly forming.
I love that I think I’ve found a church home.

I don’t regret the divorce. I truly have peace about it.

But peace doesn’t cancel out the process of starting over.

Grief and gratitude have sat side by side in this season, because two things can be true at once.

What’s Actually Helped Me Through This Life Transition…

If I’m honest, this season has required discipline more than motivation.

There have been days I didn’t feel like showing up.

Days I didn’t feel like going to church.
Days I didn’t feel like going to the gym.
Days I didn’t feel like opening my Bible.

But I’ve done it anyway.

Three things that have kept me grounded during this transition of moving back to the U.S. and starting over after divorce:

1. Staying in the Word.
Not in a dramatic way. Just consistently. Even when it felt dry, forced or I did not want to. Even when I didn’t have big revelations or feel like something spoke to me seciffically. Diving into truth has kept me grounded when my emotions have felt like they were all over the place.

2. Going to church.
Showing up. Sitting there. Community doesn’t form overnight, but it doesn’t form at all if you isolate.

3. Going to the gym.
Moving my body has been therapy. Structure helps. Discipline helps. Familiar faces help. Even on the days I didn’t want to go, I’ve never regretted going!

None of these things have erased the transition.

But they’ve strengthened me in it.

Starting over after divorce.
Moving back home after living abroad for over a decade.
Rebuilding routines.
Rebuilding community.
Rebuilding identity.

It’s not glamorous even if it might look they way on social (although I try to keep it as REAL as possible.

It’s just DAILY faithfulness.

And maybe that’s what this season is about.

If you’re walking through a major life transition, whether it’s divorce, moving, infertility, job changes, closing a long chapter or just lifin’ in general (cause let’s me real, it’s so hard sometimes) what are you doing that’s keeping you steady right now?